While taking trains to wherever in Japan, you probably find ads of marriage-hunting agencies. It apparently sounds rediculous for people who have never heard new trend regarding marriages in Japan. Most of my friends from foreign countries say "you're joking" ,then I say "no, I'm not joking", started to explain to them what it's all about.
I happened to spend a christmas eve at my friend's flat with a few female friends of hers, who are actually 29-30 years old. Sadly, what they were talking about was mostly about marriages. To be honest, that's something I got surprised a lot the fact that they're too much obssessed about hunting guys and getting married. I don't say this kind of women account for a big part of Japan, but obviously there are a lot. That's why businesses in terms of marriage hunting are inclined to become unbelievably vigorous lately. Thinkable factors are, for example, pressure from their parents, social pressure which deems unmarried women something wrong, and less chances to interact with the right men in the right time. In such a society with fewer children, this trend might help people getting married and having children. However, I don't really think it's natural way we do up to marriages.
Compared with tendency in old days, indeed, more and more women are high educated equally with men, working in different business fields, and pretty much independent. Yet, stories totally change when it's time that they become 30s'. Not all relatives don't put pressure on them to get married though, generally speaking, majority of them do so, and I've actually seen one of my cousins have been bothered by the same problem.
I don't think that female friends are simply eager to get married either. There is obviously a social pressure to force them to do that even if they're not sure it's the right thing to do. It's pretty sad truth, but true.
Well, I've thought that no one should disturb their life by putting much pressures on them about marriages and shouldn't complain anything about their way of life as long as they're totally independent and not bothering anyone financially. Not getting married? Not having children? So what? There are always reasons why they choose that way, and in many cases, it's because of circumstances which make them difficult to do that.
Maybe we've got to import new marriage system...like PACS in France so that people can get together more smoothly and regardless sexuality as well.
Any opinions are welcome.
にほんブログ村
にほんブログ村
2 件のコメント:
I see things going wrong way if it's more about the marriage and all the procedures and ceremonies it includes, and less about the most simple thing in the world: two people who like each other enough and so have a desire to make it public.
More than often things seem off balance. Marriage receives more attention than the relationship ever does.
The pressure factors you mention, family, society, and lack of time may all very well give credit to the marriage-mania side. Marriage becomes a legal way to quickly occupy the desperate mind. It's very saddening, because people in that situation would miss the opportunity to truly fall in love
Nobody knows how to fall in love but if you have felt it once, you know it for sure. And that can only happen naturally. To force marriage is possible, but can you force love?
What comes to the population, the record low statistics speak for them selves. last year the number of marriages was the same as in 1954; also last year the population decreased by 123 000 people; etc.
It's a big burden for the Goverment and ultimately for the people, but I've always seen it in the way that Japan's population growth after the war was absurd, and there's no need in trying to sustain the current figure of 125 million people. Look at the jam-packed metros, and ask "is that the way we should live?"
If the population keeps falling as it has, I believe still believe that by time the situation will naturalize and become sustainable once again. People have time and space to mingle around (even in some place else than love hotels :P). Maybe then there's no more a need for marriage services or anything the like, and it will become a joke among Japanese as well.
Keep up the good postings! New year cheers from Finland!
@Lauri
Sorry for taking time to reply! Your thought always gives me interesting perspectives that I've been thinking how to write back for what you mentioned.
I think that the image of marriages can be quite different depends on how our parents have handle family matters and how they have got along throughout the ages. Frankly speaking, I cannot have a good image for the marriage since my parents divorced after long-time chaos which is something that I'd have confronted
from childhood. The social pressure of marriages treat us to have difficulties to divorce when it needs too. But, on the other hand, I kind of see your point as well! Like you mentioned, "the most simple thing in the world: two people who like each other enough and so have a desire to make it public". When I find the right one, I'll see what you mean deeply:)
And as for shrinking population in japan due to having less marriages and less children, what you said pretty much does make sense. We'll be able to get through the situation naturally....well, in the first place, we cannot control birthrate so easily:( Maybe the situation can be more confortable for living environment...more space at least!:)
Thank you for nice comments always! Happy New Year from Japan too.
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